Friday, January 20, 2012

your mama cant dance

I have been taking a zumba class for the past couple of weeks.
Since January 1,  the class that should be the size of 55 (Maximum Capacity)  has been attended by about 150 people. 
(I hate January's at the gym......all these new years resolutioners...just breathing in my air, and taking up my ass shaking space)
Tight squeeze.
This class can be broken into 3 different types:

1. the latin women who have been dancing all their lives
2. the few who can keep up and not look like complete retards
3. the rhythm-less who just shouldnt be there.

Some of our latin dances are just ass-backwards. There are two foot movements on one beat,  beats that just shouldnt be there.....and alot of hip and ass shaking, and alot of arm flailing.... all this must be done with attitude,  or else you just look stupid.
These dances must be OWNED..............

Which brings me to why I love this class.....aside from the profuse amount of sweat I produce in this class......there is the fact that I am surrounded by the 3 different types...(I would be type 2.)
Its the rhythm-less that crack me up.  I try not to laugh out loud,  but being who I am....I just cannot help myself.  But my laughter is usually masked by the spanish only speaking instructor yelling at us  "Stas cansados??"
Or the type 1,.  who think they are at a back yard bbq, dancing to their favorite cumbia music, and probably had a few shots of tequila before coming to the class....

Last nights class "starred" a rather tall,  uncoordinated "man" who will be further known as "the fruit"  (self explanatory I think)
this poor thing,  flailed his arms about,  shook his lack of ass,  kicked his legs, along with a few of my fellow  zumba-ers....
and all I could think was "the one fruit in this bag of nuts.....and he cant dance"


  1. LOL. and that's why i won't ever go to a Zumba class. it sounds like a really good time, but this sorry little white girl can't dance for shit. the only time i've EVER danced publicly was after about 3 too many drinks at a club while i was still underage. heh. i'll stick to yoga. you don't need rhythm for that.

  2. The guy is probably just there to watch all the women shake their assets.

  3. I would definitely fall into Category #3....except I'm smart enough to know that I'm a #3 so I don't go. I learned my lesson when I about broke my neck when I tripped over the "step" in a step aerobics class.

  4. You are probably in the right category of number two along with the other normal good look'n gals that work out. Not a showoff, not a new years resolution that "paid their weight" and will be broke next month, and you sweat......hmmm.

  5. This sounds like fun. My people dance, but we're not sexy when we do it. We're used to having to keep our upper bodies still while our feet move like hell. Latin music and dancing is just so sexy.


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