Friday, February 10, 2012

If I got my wish, you'd get diaper rash.

Ok, My peeps.....
I need your input!!
So remember the "little bitch"  I told you about at work?
Well.................
that fucking asshole YELLED at me yesterday!! and further more,  he told me to SHUT UP!!!
Now,  if this place was a normal place,  I suppose I could go and place a formal complaint. 
BUT,  this is a family ran joint,  and my family has been part of this joint since I was 2.  I have worked for these people on and off since I was about 11 years old, doing odds and ends.....and Ive gotten away with alot of things.....
They look the other way alot of the times, so when it works to my convenience......say,  leaving work early every day for 3 months straight, so my kid could get to football practice,  its a good thing....but when someone yells at me, and only gets a "good talking to"  that is a horse of a whole 'nother glue.
I do not like to be yelled at.  

If it was my husband at home yelling at me,  I would have picked up the first thing within my reach and hurled it at his ass...............
AND DONT TELL ME TO SHUT UP.  
Cause that gets my fists flying. I would rather be told to fuck off than to be told to shut up.
So it was with GREAT PAIN, that I did not react to the whole situation yesterday.  Especially since he YELLED AND TOLD ME TO SHUT UP, as his/my boss was standing right there.  I stayed quiet and professional,  ASSUMING he would be dealt with since HIS BOSS  witnessed the whole thing.
NOPE.  not a word was said to him.....and after all that,  THE FUCKING LITTLE BITCH plays as loudly as he could (without the president hearing)  The bitch is back by Elton John.  

Well, THAT  made me laugh,  cause the last time he threw a fit,  he played the same song....just for me.....how sweet huh??
How do you even take a bitch seriously when he plays Elton John as a weapon....
What??? Is he gonna bitch slap me next???
I did tell my boss that next time he pulls this crap,  and is allowed to get away with it,  I will be dealing with it in my own way.
But,  after a good long think,  and an extra helping of my coffee's little helper (yup, Choleesa is at it again Heff).....I decided to deal with it now...cause fuck this bitch.......dont tell me to shut up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways,  here is how I need your help.
I want to make the man miserable.......I need suggestions.

I have already hid the toilet paper from him.
Did I mention that this little bitch is such a little bitch, that he has to use the bathroom upstairs......upstairs where there is no one.......upstairs has been abandoned...........
and he has to go upstairs to shit.....just in case someone walks in on him....cause he is soooooo scared to crap in public, that he sneaks upstairs to shit.............
so I got here early and hid the toilet paper from him....I left just enough on the roll to make him THINK that there was toilet paper,  but only a couple of squares, and I took all the extra rolls out!!!

I hope he gets diarrhea today.

Any other suggestions??  It has to be done underhanded and untraceable...but good enough that he KNOWS it was me,  but cant prove it...........
and Im hoping that my peeps  can help me out with some ideas......
And for the LOVE OF GOD, do not suggest I take the high road!!!

18 comments:

  1. I shit in COMPLETE PRIVACY myself, but it's not because I'm scared to do it in public, IT'S FOR THE SAFETY OF ALL MANKIND !!!

    You only left him a few squares of T.P. ???

    YOU ARE EVIL INCARNATE !!!!

    It takes Heff an ENTIRE ROLL to clean up afterwards !

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    Replies
    1. You have no idea Heff....no idea....

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  2. go old school, put sugar in his gas tank.

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  3. We do lots of mouse disconnects cable swaps so shit looks like its plugged in but its not...that kinda stuff at work but mostly for pure fun. Is he the only one that goes upstairs to go to the bathroom...try a thin coat of petroleum jelly on the top of the seat. Should be pretty invisible but EWWW nasty when you sit down.

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    Replies
    1. I wish I could, but I would get the blame.

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    2. Hmm...turn the water off on the sink? The toilet? (Conservation you know)...Website on Office Pranking: http://aprilfoolzone.com/office.htm

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    3. I was gonna turn the water off on the toilet on Monday morning, so he would think it was the cleaning people.

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  4. April has a good idea with the jelly on the toilet seat. There is always the classic thumbtacks on his chair! That's all I can think of right now.

    Background? Boobs? lol

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  5. How about the classics? Ex-lax in his drink; they also sell this stuff called magnesium sodium with a lemon taste, 4 tablespoon = diarrhea.

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    Replies
    1. HA!!!! THAT and the LACK of toilet paper, would be the BEST

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  6. I'm no good at this, however, if he needs privacy in the bathroom, you could make sure to interrupt when you see him head up there. (an air horn might to the trick)

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  7. Anonymous admirer? I bet you can drag that out for many laughs....

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  8. i'm no good at revenge, but i definitely look forward to hearing your blog posts about it over the next few weeks. :)

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  9. Can you get on his computer when he walks away and go to kiddie porn sites?

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  10. Keep making this person angry, and you win is the way you look at it. Eventually they will have a blood vessel explode, and bang! You Win !!
    Really tho'... let the baby cry.

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  11. Was gonna suggest laxative but as always I'm late for the party.

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Go ahead, tell me what your thinking.........