Monday, May 7, 2012

The Dark


I had a rough weekend.

On Saturday,  my daughter and I did a 5K, in honor of my 11 year old cousin that passed away a couple of years ago.....(She was my daughters favorite cousin)......
While walking,  we ran into my daughters friend's mother who was there walking in honor of her son that past away last year.
We were raising money for a foundation that helps parents cope with the sudden loss of a child.  They provide counseling,  financial assistance for medical bills, and burial expenses. etc.
It was a rough day,  seeing so many people who have lost their children. The beautiful young faces on the back of t-shirts...............knowing two of those faces so well........
When I got home,  I received a text message from my "rock",  the one who holds me up through anyyhing and everything. 
The one friend who is to me, EXACTLY what I expect from my friends....
(Shes been having a rough time...personal problems,  sick mom,  dad in the hospital.)

I had just spoken to her Saturday morning, (at 6:30,  cause we do like that,  time is never an issue when one of us needs to talk)  before my walk....she was happy, she wished me a good day.........

My text message ready simply :
"My  mother passed away today."
I called her, and my rock was in little pebbles. 
It broke my heart. 
While she and her sister were at the hospital with their dad,  their mom had slipped away quietly in her bed.

I broke. 
Too much emotion for one day.
I allowed myself to slip into the darkness.  I spent most of the day Sunday wallowing in the sadness.
I thought  of my sister in laws mother, who we lost to cancer a few months ago,  and my father in law, who was taken so suddenly, and  my uncle who sits in the hospital battling his own bout with cancer, that poor little baby who was hurt by someone who was supposed to protect him...
It was so easy to just wallow, to just be miserable,  and to think nothing but negative thoughts.......I spent the day on the couch.

I fell asleep with the promise to myself that tomorrow,  I would let the sun back in.

4 comments:

  1. My condolences to your friend... and you.

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  2. I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's loss. It does sound as if you were in an emotional overload this weekend. Hugs.

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  3. I am sorry Cho. Dealing with so much death is not a happy place. Another happy situation will soon come along to balance it out.

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  4. "It can't rain all the time."

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