Tuesday, May 15, 2012

My dirty little secret (or at least one of them)

I have a confession.......

Im a facebook stalker.

I am a lurker. 

Another confession............

most of the time I read things that make me jealous.

Make me want another life.
In fact,  I would probably be happier if I DIDNT see the lives that other people live.

When couples  profess their love for each other,  I wonder why my fucking husband doesn't adore me?

When people post pictures of their fabulous vacations,  I am GREEN with envy,  Why cant I go to such places?

When I see their homes in the backgrounds of their pictures, it makes me hate my hovel that much more.....

When people talk about how they went out with such and such and did so and so......
I wonder why I wasnt invited?  (nevermind the fact that I havent spoken to them in years.) 

YES!!!  I have issues!!

Hell,  Ill go so far as to admit that I get jealous when old boyfriends talk to my old friends,  even though I hadn't given them a second thought UNTIL I saw that they were friends with so and so.......

(Ive already admitted that I have issues, no need to remind me)

What brings on this confession you ask??

Well,  my favorite Flower and I have been searching the world wide web for an old "friend".
She was more of a  frenemy.

If it wasnt for the glue that was  Flower (Flower  is my friend, she has been dubbed Flower, to protect the innocent)  frenemy and I probably wouldnt have spent ANY time together.

Flower and I have searched high and low for frenemy, wondering what kind of fat train wreck she became........

and alas we finally found her .....

And what has this "train wreck"  been up to you ask??

Shes been feeding hungry kids in Haiti!!! 

(and she didnt even have the decency to get fat) 
She sent me a message asking me what IVE been up to.........................

How do you compete with combating starvation??

Damn...................not at all what I was expecting.

Fucking facebook


  1. I don't need anything else to make me green, thank you very much.

  2. If she's been feeding them then they aren't hungry.

  3. Stop the envy....people only show the best of themselves on Facebook. What you are seeing isn't real. Which pretty much explains why I am never on Facebook, because I know damn good and well that no matter how much So and So profess their undying love online that offline they are very busy screaming at each other.

  4. oh geez, i'm sorry this made me giggle a little bit. i stalk a few people from my past, but adamantly REFUSE friend requests from anybody who associated with me during college or earlier. (and i block the persistent ones) fuck the lot of 'em. it wasn't always that way, but eventually i just got sick and tired of comparing myself to all those douchebags i used to know. especially since i know the only reason they wanted to "friend" me was because tTHEY wanted to stalk me as well. yuck.

  5. Perfectly OK, it was meant to be funny.

  6. I got a huge kick out of this post....I think everyone has those feelings at one time or another. But for those people who won't give high school "frenamys" a chance? Nothing made me happier than when I went to a class reunion, and got to see a girl I actually was mean to in HS. It was my goal to find her and apologize for being such a bitch. There was no reason, it was just bullying, and she was an easy target, plain and simple. Later, I hated myself for doing that, and it made my day to apologize (in front of people!) for it. She was very accepting and forgiving BTW....She's now a KG teacher and hopefully watching out for bullies. Maybe that's why some of those people are "trying" to reconnect? And, your posts are ALWAYS funny BTW.

  7. One day I'm going to hit the lottery and then you could be jealous of me too!

  8. I have to admit, I am so like this also. It seems like everyone is better off than I am, and some of them were like complete idiots!

  9. I thought facebook was for looking at boobs.


Go ahead, tell me what your thinking.........