Saturday, June 16, 2012

Adventures in Wal-Mart part 2

My P.I.C. and I walk into Wal-Mart, ...........they have about 6 inflatable pools hanging from the ceiling.
We make our way there, and cant find a damned one.

NOT ONE.

No pools to be found, excepting the ones that were hanging from the ceiling....taunting us......

WHAT KIND OF GETAWAY WILL THIS BE IF WE CANNOT HANG OUT POOLSIDE?!?!?!?!

We wander aimlessly, trying to dumb ourselves down enough to think like the person who plans the layout of the store.....
we wander the toy section,  the garden section, the outdoor section and the sports section..........NOTHING.

So we go back to the aisle underneath the hanging pools, and tear that aisle apart....nothing,  not even an empty space where the pools should be.

We find the nearest useless employee who is standing there folding and unfolding shirts in the BIG GIRLS  section, and ask her,  "where are the pools?"

She looks at us as if we asked her in Japanese....now, I told you that my  P.I.C.  was in a bad way,  and this dumb ass was the straw that broke the bitches back.......

P.I.C. asks her:  " Can  you understand the simple question that is being asked of you?? if so,  WHERE ARE THE DAMN POOLS?,

and if not, GO FIND SOMEONE WITH THE MENTAL CAPACITY  to help us....."

(Now, let me just point out,  that my P.I.C. is usually the calm one to my bitch)

This outburst of outrage is very unlike her, so I bust out in laughter..........I calmly touch her arm....trying to will her back to sanity....all the while, the dumbass is just staring at us.......

So my  P.I.C.  leans in to the poor employee - gets right in her face, and says...."Did you hear what I asked??"  in that "mother" tone that tells you that you are about to get your asked kicked.

 
dumbass says:  "Ill find someone"  (as if answering the question of whether or not she was intelligent enough to help us....)

Ten minutes later,  dumbass is back folding clothes, and we are still waiting for help.....then help arrives,  in the male package of dumbass.

"do you need help?" he asks....

"Do you?"  P.I.C.  replies.................
(another stupid stare)

Me:  "yes,  we want one of these pools,  we have already looked all over the store, so Im assuming they are in the back somewhere.  Can you please go get us one of these, and if you dont have any more of this one, then bring me one of that one."

male dumbass:  :"sure,  ill be right back"

laughter and chit chat ensue, as we are completely trash talking the intelligence of Wal-Mart....
We look over, and see male dumbass walking down one aisle.......

P.I.C.:  "what in the hell is he doing?"

male dumbass reappears,  walking down another aisle....

Me:  crying from the laughter.

male dumbass:  strolling down yet another aisle.

Yup, you guessed it, male dumbass was searching the entire store.

Now,  I know you are wondering to yourselves,  why dont we just leave....


now- its just a mission,  I WANT A FUCKING BLOW UP POOL!!!!

Male dumbass returns to inform us that "we must be all sold out cause I cant find them"

Me: "yeah we saw you wandering around,  but did you look in the back?"

male dumbass:  stupid stare....

P.I.C.  "see???  this is why people have dedicated an entire website to making fun of Wal-Mart"

--------

ten minutes later,  across the street at Target,  we find an entire row.....fully stocked with inflatable pools.....

1 comment:

Go ahead, tell me what your thinking.........