Tuesday, October 30, 2012

A love letter

Dear Self,

Look at you.........you are a mess.

What happened to you?

Where has that self confident, strong independent person who didnt give a fuck what anyone else thought or said gone to?

Somewhere along the line,  you decided to try and be what others wanted you to be,  and now you are miserable for it.

You KNEW better,  and still you tried to please everyone else.

You have allowed the wrong people in your life because they pretended to care,   KNOWING that these were not the people you could call at 2 in the morning cause you needed to talk.  They were in it for them,  not for you. 

You have people that care,  go to THEM, and leave these assholes behind.  

(get it....assholes.....behind....ha, see you are funny!!)

You used to be this confident person...people WANTED to be around you,  and now.......not so much. Now you are just a bitter and jealous person.

You swallowed your pride in hopes of saving something that couldnt be saved.  You allowed yourself to be chained to a wall,  you have allowed your wings to be clipped.  

Such a sad thing really,  cause you were one of the most interesting people I knew.... and now look at you....

You used to soar!

There is still hope for you! 

You arent happy.  Do what needs to be done, one way or another...
Grow back your feathers and fly bitch fly!!!

How can you be happy when all the while you are harboring these feelings of hate??  

Stop beating the dead horse....its dead,  it doesnt feel the pain you are trying to inflict....you are only wearing yourself out.

At this point,  nothing is going to work for you,  until you work on yourself. 

Take back the power of being happy.  Its YOUR power and no one elses.. Its YOUR choice.

Find your smile again...Hear your laughter.  Its a great sound. 

I miss hearing it. 

Go look for that woman  who used to say:   "if you dont like me as I am, then fuck you." 

Look for her and FIND her.

SHE was one bad ass bitch,  and you loved her!
Quit selling yourself short.
This is NOT the best that it can get!!

You cannot have the things you want unless you actually try for them.
If you fail.......so fucking what??

Get up and keep going......

No one ever learned anything of value without failing. 

Be that woman who did what needed to be done, and did it with gusto!!!
Be yourself,  shes a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL person........and she is a good fucking time.....
Be her again....

Go fly again.

Love always,

Someone who misses you very much....


  1. Yeah, I remember MY first beer......

  2. Heff - You ANNNND Steve Martin but I hear ya. Choleesa, seriously, get back on the meds and the swing will stop. Remember, "It's not a lie if YOU believe it."

  3. Excellent letter, lady. I hope that self reads it and takes it to heart.

  4. Damns. That be a really black letter.

  5. You mean someone else feels this way, too? Glad to know I'm not the only one.

  6. Sending hugs. She's still there - she's just hiding. Find her.

  7. You have my permission to call me at 2 AM whenever you want.

  8. This sounds like you've just hit mid life crisis and grown disillusioned with the compromises most of us have to make in our lives.


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