Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Beat this!

Two news stories that CRACKED me up!
Maybe Im a disturbed individual,  but I seriously laughed my ass off at both of these....


  A western Nebraska man is accused of assaulting his wife with a sandwich.
 ....... wife called 911 late Sunday and reported he pushed her down during an argument and rubbed a sandwich in her face.
The newspaper says court documents don't detail the ingredients, but a deputy found several pieces of lunchmeat on the carpet outside a bedroom and some pieces of bread in the bedroom.

I would just be embarrassed to call the cops and say,  "he hit me with a sandwich"  
And if your gonna assault someone and be arrested,  dont you at least want to go into jail with a GOOD story,  and not, I beat her with my bologna???

 And in other news:

A 42-year-old  was arrested in Sanford, FL last week for allegedly beating his live-in girlfriend with her own dog.
The two got into an argument, and when the woman attempted to drive off, he grabbed her dog and started swinging it in the air like some sort of medieval weapon before attacking her with the pooch.

Following that assault, he choked the woman before escaping on a bike with the dog.

"Im gonna beat you,  with your little dog too!"   hahahahahaha

He escaped..........AND TOOK THE DOG WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh come on now...........admit it.............you are laughing too.. 

P.S.  according to the news,  the dog was not hurt,  but the sandwich did not survive the attack.
 

9 comments:

  1. I suppose he took the dog with him because it was evidential.

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  2. He escaped on a bike, LOL. I also like that they used the term "medieval".

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  3. Your PS was better than both stories!

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  4. That's what I was gonna say, "beat THIS!"

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  5. oh yeah i laughed! i even googled the sandwich story and shared it on facebook. it was just that good. thanks for sharing!

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  6. This is NOT worthy news to Heff.

    Hell, I shove my Devil'd Ham in Donna's face NIGHTLY !

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  7. I'd have eaten the sandwich - where's the evidence then? Find a Korean in the other case maybe... ;-) Sorry sick joke I know

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  8. I'm laughing my ass off. It's probably good the first guy wasn't eating at a chinese buffet.

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Go ahead, tell me what your thinking.........