Wednesday, January 23, 2013

El Paso by way of Santa Barbara

(man,  it never fails!!! I get myself in a good spot........and BAM!!!)

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.

I hate it, because while I know people only post what they want you to see,  I still see their happiness, and it pisses me off, makes me want their life.

I Love it because it is pretty much the only way I get updates from my family that is spread out all over the country.
We have our own little private group for just us family members, and we post what we want to be known there.

This morning my cousin posted that my grandmother was in the hospital.  Her diabetes was giving her problems....(which really freaks me out,  cause it brings to mind my own mortality and ailing condition, not to mention that I just went and had my lab work done this morning, which always brings it front and center)  


My grandma is in El Paso Texas.

I dont know if Ive mentioned this before,  but my Texas side of the family is a tad bit dysfunctional.  So,  I had to go to my cousin in Santa Barbara to find out exactly how accurate the news was.....

My grandparents are getting old, and they are not in the greatest health,  and I also know that when one of them passes,  the other will be right behind...So, every time I hear news of one of them ailing.........
 

I panic. 
 

I think to myself, that I should have went to that cousins wedding,  I should have taken some vacation time to go see them, and now its too late.  The last time I went to visit them was when my uncle died....not exactly a pleasure visit.

So here I am spending time looking at bus schedules, train schedules to see if I can find a way to get there and see them.....just in case.
Im looking at a 14-16 hour trip to spend a weekend with them. But I dont want to regret not making the trip....if you know what Im saying....I dont want to be "too late"

And then I get an update, and she is improving.  And as guilty as I feel about it,  the urgency to get there fades.

what kind of grand daughter am I anyways?

5 comments:

  1. Apparently the same kind I am.
    If my Mimi was sick, I'd be dropping shit to get there. But just take a weekend and drive over because I love and miss her? Nope.

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  2. I had to laugh at your comment about the Texas side of your family being dysfunctional....mainly because I'm from Texas and ALL of my family is dysfunctional!

    Now, I'm glad she is doing better BUT....take the time off, buy the ticket and go for a visit. You won't regret it.

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  3. (Dysfunctional Texan here, too) Find the time, so you don't look back and regret it. While your finding time to make the trip, find the time to call her on the phone. Don't wait for someone to fill you in, find out for yourself, straight from the person.

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  4. Make that "you're". I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!

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  5. Don't beat yourself up over it. How often do they come and visit you?

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